“Once upon a time there was a Chinese farmer whose horse ran away. That evening, all of his neighbours came around to commiserate. They said, “We are so sorry to hear your horse has run away. This is most unfortunate.” The farmer said, “Maybe.”
The next day the horse came back bringing seven wild horses with it, and in the evening everybody came back and said, “Oh, isn’t that lucky. What a great turn of events. You now have eight horses!” The farmer again said, “Maybe.”
The following day his son tried to break one of the horses, and while riding it, he was thrown and broke his leg. The neighbours then said, “Oh dear, that’s too bad,” and the farmer responded, “Maybe.” The next day the conscription officers came around to conscript people into the army, and they rejected his son because he had a broken leg. Again all the neighbours came around and said, “Isn’t that great!” Again, he said, “Maybe.”
The whole process of nature is an integrated process of immense complexity, and it’s really impossible to tell whether anything that happens in it is good or bad — because you never know what will be the consequence of the misfortune; or, you never know what will be the consequences of good fortune.”
— Alan Watts
It is easy to get swept up into thinking something that we perceive as negative being unlucky and terrible. Or, when something we perceive as ‘good thing’ being lucky and good fortune.
Many years ago, when my talented best friend, Kim Curran, got her first YA book, ‘Shift’, published. The book was about a boy who had the power to undo any decision he’s ever made. My friend asked me “if you could change any decision you’ve made, what would you change?
I very quickly said “I would never have started smoking”, it seemed like an obvious one right? Then I started thinking about it, and realised that I met my oldest daughter’s father because I used to go out for a smoke break. He worked at a different company in the same building, and also used to go out for a smoke break. It didn’t take long before our smoking breaks were synchronised. Would I have gotten to know him if I didn’t smoke? Maybe. But maybe not. And if I hadn’t met him, I wouldn’t have had my daughter Lily. And if she wasn’t born, I wouldn’t have taken on the role in SEO when I got back from maternity. And if I hadn’t worked in SEO, I wouldn’t have met my youngest daughter’s father, and so on.
It became obvious to me that changing just one thing, even a perceived bad thing, would likely have changed the whole trajectory. In this case, looking back, I feel like it was a good thing.
A perceived ‘bad’ decision can lead to good things, and vice versa. And that is rather liberating.
Do you have a story of a decision or something that happened that you believed to be good or bad, that later turned out to be the opposite?
